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Latest social skills posts
Handling Our Kids’ Explosive Anger (with Loryn Brantz)
What do we do when our child erupts into a full-blown tantrum—suddenly becoming what author Loryn Brantz calls a “spicy nugget”? The award-winning author and illustrator returns to Unruffled to talk about her new children’s book, “I Am a Spicy Nugget.” Loryn and Janet unpack what actually happens…
Painfully Shy in Public, Spirited at Home (What’s Up with That?)
A parent describes her 3.5-year-old as fun, loud, and opinionated at home, but “painfully shy in every other social setting,” even with relatives and peers she knows well. She’s greeted with enthusiasm but won’t join in. Instead, she asks her parent to play with her. This issue is especially…
Can We Overcome Our Upbringing?
A mother fears she’s repeating the negative patterns that shaped her childhood and wonders if it’s already too late to change. She writes that her mother used “guilt trips, the silent treatment, hitting, and what I would deem psychological abuse… She is who I learned to parent from.” While she has…
A Child’s Rocky Transition (Why It Means She’s Doing Her Job)
A two-year-old’s adjustment to a small in-home childcare setting isn’t going well. She cries through much of day, flits from activity to activity, and seeks constant validation from the caregiver, repeatedly asking, “Do you like me?” This caregiver, who is also a parent of two toddlers, is baffled…
Gentle Parenting Is Failing Parents. Here’s Why.
What if the parenting approach that’s supposed to make family life easier is actually making it harder? Many parents are discovering that what they thought was “gentle parenting” leaves them exhausted, second-guessing themselves, and struggling to set limits. Janet explains why the answer isn’t a…
Being Authentic When It Feels Mean
Can we be authentic with our kids without making them feel rejected? Is it wrong to find their behavior so annoying at times? A parent worries that saying “I don’t want a hug right now” when she’s feeling angry or annoyed will damage her relationship with her 3-year-old. Janet explores what genuine…
When Daily Tasks Turn Into Daily Battles: Transitions, Conflict, and Real Connection
A parent writes that her 5-year-old consistently resists getting dressed, brushing her hair, bathing, or brushing her teeth. “What starts as a simple transition can turn into an hour-long battle, with both of us ending up overwhelmed and the task often still unfinished.” This mom has tried…
Peer Play. Using Our Power to Help Kids Thrive Socially
A 4-year-old struggles when friends won’t follow her rules of play. A 3-year-old is reserved around other people. Another preschooler is routinely excluded from a group of friends. Janet weighs in on these issues and explores how parents may be playing a bigger role in these dynamics than they…
Why Parents Need RIE (with Melani Ladygo)
You may have heard Janet, other parents, or early childhood professionals speak about “RIE” (pronounced “rye”). Perhaps they described “RIE” as profound and life changing. Or maybe they outright panned it. They may have brought up elements that sounded odd or controversial or even ridiculous. You…
Making a Successful Transition to Preschool (with Mr. Chazz)
Janet welcomes a timely visit from iconic educator Mr. Chazz who shares how parents and teachers can help kids successfully transition to a new preschool or childcare situation. His focus is on trust and maintaining the sense of connection that supports parents and kids to separate with confidence…